Well..

It's been just so long since I've sat down and written something not for school, that being said all my writing assignments were pretty simple until this lab report. Labs make me question why I would want to continue going after a BSc. They're ridiculously long and have the most difficult writing assignments. I guess we'll see. But, I've been adding to my list of things to be thankful for everyday, and it's getting all long and wonderful. I decided to share the finished result, but that's a ways away.

Let's see.. Everything's been all crazy and stuff recently. Circumstances have led me to realize the finiteness of the lives we have. There was a great loss within my home community while I was home for reading week. One single event led to the death of 4 young people, one not being from the same town I was, but another small town very close. Seeing the huge amount of hurt that came from that, once again. It's not the first time, but it is the first time that was this many people from one single event. It's crazy to think that I knew these people, that they could have been something great in their future, whether or not people thought they would be now.

Coming back from reading week the rather expected passing of my gramma came about as well. Even though her health had been deteriorating for quite some time it was still a bit of a shock and just not something I'd wanted to hear. I wouldn't say it was easy to get past that initially being away from the family and everything.

Neither was the first death of someone who I had known or who I was close to. Though I guess they were the first that occured at a piont when I was kind of questioning things already and just looking at different things within myself and outside of myself to decide things which I believe and don't believe. It isn't that I had never done that before, just that the two had never fallen together. It's crazy how easily things can come to an end. I have all these things that I intend to do in the future, but there's always the potential that I won't make it there. I have this path that I think God wants me to follow and has laid out for me. But what if that isn't it? What if I'm not supposed to acheive these things and instead I will be taken to him? Or if one of those people who I'm starting to think are going to continually be a huge impact on my faith and everything else to do with me, who I feel has a part to play for a long time doesn't get to that point. It's a scary thought, but at the same time it would be OK. It would hurt, or cause hurt in either case, but I know it could be accepted eventually. I haven't finished forming all my thoughts here and it's always odd to try them out for the first time with others able to read/see/hear the process. So I guess this is where we end.

"I have asked the question why
But I guess the answer's for another time
So instead I'll pray with every tear
And be thankful for the time I had you here
And I wanna live my life just like you did
Make the most of my time just like you did
And I wanna make my home up in the sky
Just like you did"
~ Save a Place for Me by Matthew West